Cowie posits fantasy as a “mise-en-scene of desire”: a setting forth of an elaborate scene of drawn-out pleasure, of almosts and near-misses, of denial and the controlling of masculine and feminine subject positions. In Cowe’s words, “fantasy depends not on particular objects, but on their setting out; and the pleasure of fantasy lies in the settin... See more

I was shocked when I realized that I actually wasn’t envious of Gilbert’s professional success. I admired it, but it wasn’t what had triggered me. What ignited my envy was the fact that she was doing the work that she wanted to do and was willing to chart her own course in a way I had been afraid to do.

“Always remember that if you’re working too hard,” he said. “You’re going against the current. Just stop, relax, and go with the flow. Let the water take the lead.”

After all, not to be corny, haven’t we all become selective autobiographers in the digital age as we curate our lives for our own audiences of any size—cutting away from the raw fabric of our lived experience to reveal the shape of the story we most want to tell, whether it’s on our own feeds or the world’s stage?

In choosing how we are in the world, we shape our experience of that world, our contribution to it. We shape our world, our inner world, our outer world, which is really the only one we’ll ever know. And to me, that’s the substance of the spiritual journey. That’s not an exasperating idea but an infinitely emboldening one.

It’s an entrepreneurial trope, and a tired one, to believe that I should maximize every aspect of launching . Most everybody who's been in my shoes heralds events as the best way to get people in the door, which is another way of saying that events are the best way to make money. Money is important, sure, but I’ve generally found it to be a shitty ... See more

At the same time, a crush is beautiful because it’s a little unrealistic, because you see the very best in someone even when they’re flawed. One might argue that even a casual crush is a bit selfish—a way to project positive qualities onto someone, and to get the glowy excitement that comes with that, without really seeing them in all of their diff... See more

There’s nothing more magical than watching someone do things they didn’t know they were capable of.