Chubmeister 5000

If you give a void a sweet treat

If I could zoom out just for a moment I would see my heartbreak was a doorway, and every time I was lost was really God leading me home.

Maybe you feel like you’re breaking or losing it. Maybe it even feels like you’re dying inside. But I promise you, it’s the opposite. Things may be falling away that you once held so close. Beliefs. Habits. Friendships. Behaviors. Hobbies. Relationships. Ways of thinking. Etc. And it may feel like you are falling away with them. Because you have held them for so long. Like you’re falling and have nothing to hold on to anymore. Like you don’t even know who you are. But you are okay. This is a part of growth. And a lot of times growth feels like dying. Dying to who we once were to become who we are now. Being reborn. Who you actually are is not dying. But all of the ideas of who you are and limitations are dying. Which feels scary. Confusing. Uncertain. We must learn to surrender. To let go even when it hurts. Trusting that something good is happening. Even if we can’t see it or feel it yet. We are being purified of all that is not true to us. Parts of ourselves feel like they are being burned away. But who we really are will always be untouched.

We are alive in this moment. We are here together on a planet dancing through space. There is magic in every direction we look. We are surrounded by miracles. Let us not fall into the trap of thinking this is all mundane and normal. The fact that we exist as human beings is so bizarre in the coolest way. Like what the heck lolol. This moment is an unconditional gift. This breath is a blessing. I love you so much, and I’m so grateful to be here with you on this beautiful, confusing, joyous, heartbreaking, silly, strange, magical journey.

it’s safe to let it go

We can’t heal if we don’t feel. Eventually we will get tired of running and have to finally sit down and feel what we’ve been avoiding. But the good news is, these feelings can’t hurt us. Yes, they may be really uncomfortable in our bodies and produce uncomfortable thoughts, but that’s all they are. For so long I tried to meditate my sadness away. Instead of just feeling it. I was trying to get rid of it. Or bypass feeling it because I knew how much it would hurt my heart. But over time it turned into a three headed monster like the picture. Not only was the sadness still there, it grew the heads of shame and paranoia. It became way more complex because I didn’t allow myself to feel the original feeling. We all try to distract ourselves in some way. Whether it’s drinking and drugs. The television and phone. Food and sex. Or even things we consider healthy like meditation and exercise. But I think we all realize that these feelings never fully go away. They are deep within our being eating away at us even when we are thinking of them. So let us be still for a moment. And feel what comes up. Take deep breaths. Relax your face, jaw, shoulders, belly, hands, and legs. And just notice what comes up without running away or finding a distraction. You don’t have to sit for hours. Maybe try 10 minutes today. Just sitting and feeling. Notice where you feel it in your body. Notice the thoughts that come along with the feeling. Just allow yourself to fully feel it all. Reminding yourself that you are okay. You are safe. And watch as you sit there for those 10 minutes how the feelings start to lighten when we don’t run from them. Seeing that they are nothing more than sensations and thoughts in the body.