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Avoidants should consider using the methods of Kelly, a psychologist, who, in the 1950s, used a technique called “fixed role therapy” to change people’s perceptions of themselves and help them break through their self-imposed limitations. In a clinical setting, using a technique applicable to avoidants, he had clients write a self-characterization
... See moreMartin Kantor • The Essential Guide to Overcoming Avoidant Personality Disorder
If one had to characterise the difference overall, is something like this. Experience is forever in motion, ramifying and unpredictable. In order for us to know anything at all, that thing must have enduring properties. If all things flow and one can never step into the same river twice– Heraclitus’s phrase is, I believe, a brilliant evocation of t
... See moreIain McGilchrist • Ways of Attending: How Our Divided Brain Constructs the World
The fundamental change we need is a shift from a feeling- centered approach to decisions to a purpose- centered approach. The question isn’t “What do I feel like doing?” but, rather, “what needs to be done?” All the time management systems in the world won’t really help us very much until we’ve developed the capacity to make decisions based on purp
... See moreGregg Krech • The Art of Taking Action: Lessons From Japanese Psychology
I don’t know if people develop such a deep connection to the things they buy these days. Many people have a strong desire to possess the latest thing, and manufacturers and advertisers know this. It is not by accident that merchandise is not created to last. The objects of our desire are constantly changing. And our desires for the objects we consu
... See moreThich Nhat Hanh • How to Focus
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One shift that can help us all is to change our minds about planning. Like search, planning is a literacy that’s not taught in school, and yet it’s a key to success in life and work. We plan events, trips, families, sites, systems, companies, and cities. We do it all the time but make the same mistakes. First, we procrastinate. We fear complexity,
... See morePeter Morville • Intertwingled: Information Changes Everything
But is knowing the truth really enough to activate its life-changing power? Clearly not: everyone knows what’s required to live a healthy life—a good night’s sleep, consistent exercise, and a healthy diet—yet for most people, simply telling themselves that isn’t enough. That’s because even after you know the truth, Part X has a way of neutralizing
... See morePhil Stutz, Barry Michels • Coming Alive
At the same time, do not expect the mind to change simply because you are identifying less with it. You are not trying to change your mind! That's not possible. You can, however, change your relationship to the thinking mind, and this is great news. Your life will change and the mind will keep running its inflexible, predictable computer program. N
... See moreChris Niebauer • The No Self, No Problem Workbook
It must be obvious, from the start, that there is a contradiction in wanting to be perfectly secure in a universe whose very nature is momentariness and fluidity. But the contradiction lies a little deeper than the mere conflict between the desire for security and the fact of change. If I want to be secure, that is, protected from the flux of life,
... See moreAlan Watts • The Wisdom of Insecurity: a Message for an Age of Anxiety
You’re no more immune from consumerism than Vinny was. You’re probably in its grip right now. If you don’t believe this, take an honest look at how you’re reading this book. As a consumer, you’ll read it quickly and superficially, hoping it is the “answer” you’ve been seeking. You’ll want the book to work like a pill, even if you don’t admit it; ju
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