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A typical culprit, for example, was technology restriction rules that were either too vague or too strict. Another mistake was not planning what to replace these technologies with during the declutter period—leading to anxiety and boredom. Those who treated this experiment purely as a detox, where the goal was to simply take a break from their digi

Avoidants should consider using the methods of Kelly, a psychologist, who, in the 1950s, used a technique called “fixed role therapy” to change people’s perceptions of themselves and help them break through their self-imposed limitations. In a clinical setting, using a technique applicable to avoidants, he had clients write a self-characterization

You’re no more immune from consumerism than Vinny was. You’re probably in its grip right now. If you don’t believe this, take an honest look at how you’re reading this book. As a consumer, you’ll read it quickly and superficially, hoping it is the “answer” you’ve been seeking. You’ll want the book to work like a pill, even if you don’t admit it; ju

Morning Pages ask us to have courage. When we do, they give us positive reinforcement. On an “off” day, we can still tell ourselves, “At least I did my pages.” Most days, we can count some small forward motion. Pages lead us to large changes by very small steps.

Ordinary unconsciousness is always linked in some way with denial of the Now. The Now, of course, also implies the here. Are you resisting your here and now? Some people would always rather be somewhere else. Their “here” is never good enough. Through self-observation, find out if that is the case in your life. Wherever you are, be there totally. I

First, you give a task or a goal the power to determine your worth and happiness. You think, “Getting this job, passing this test, dating this person will change my life and make me happy.” When a perfect performance or the achievement of a specific goal becomes the sole measure of your self-worth, too much is at stake to just start working without

Unquestionably, the most valuable effect of mindfulness is its ability to radically reprogram our deepest misconceptions about the nature of reality, and about who and what we are. Our gut intuition tells us we’re separate selves in a world of other people and objects, and that our individual suffering and happiness depend on external circumstances

If one had to characterise the difference overall, is something like this. Experience is forever in motion, ramifying and unpredictable. In order for us to know anything at all, that thing must have enduring properties. If all things flow and one can never step into the same river twice– Heraclitus’s phrase is, I believe, a brilliant evocation of t

We have the best chance to change our behaviour over the long term if we start with a realistic idea about the difficulties of behavioural change (Dean 2013).

Take Action

Unlike intellectual concepts, instinctual intelligence has no value until you act on it. Most of us have tremendous problems taking action. We passively wait, hoping to get into a state of mind where we will be more motivated, less afraid. This reflects a complete misunderstanding of success. We need to take action regardless of how we f