change
by fnep · updated 2d ago
change
by fnep · updated 2d ago
We have the best chance to change our behaviour over the long term if we start with a realistic idea about the difficulties of behavioural change (Dean 2013).
fnep added 2d ago
A typical culprit, for example, was technology restriction rules that were either too vague or too strict. Another mistake was not planning what to replace these technologies with during the declutter period—leading to anxiety and boredom. Those who treated this experiment purely as a detox, where the goal was to simply take a break from their digi
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
One major advantage of springboard stories is that they combat skepticism and create buy-in. Denning says that the idea of telling stories initially violated his intuition. He had always believed in the value of being direct, and he worried that stories were too ambiguous, too peripheral, too anecdotal. He thought, “Why not spell out the message di
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
The reason this is so liberating, for anyone with even a hint of perfectionism, is that it means you get to give up on the exhausting struggle to take charge of your life, so as to steer it in a new direction. You get to abandon all hope of one day finding the perfect time management system– or perfect relationship, job, neighborhood, etcetera– and
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
This change cannot possibly be brought about without knowing oneself, self-knowledge. This is not knowledge of the “higher self” or knowledge of some “supreme consciousness,” for they are still within the field of thought. Unless one understands one’s self, the self of every day—what it thinks, what it does, its devotions, its deceptions, its ambit
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
I had always thought my best sessions were the ones where I explained things clearly. It turned out my patients liked the ones where I was passionate about change. It mattered less to them what I said than what they sensed stirring in my soul. I stopped trying to emulate the detached, cerebral style of the shrinks I’d grown up with. Instead, I foun
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
In our everyday life we are usually trying to do something, trying to change something into something else, or trying to attain something. Just this trying is already in itself an expression of our true nature. The meaning lies in the effort itself. We should find out the meaning of our effort before we attain something. So Dogen said, “We should a
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
You are accustomed to authority, or to the atmosphere of authority, which you think will lead you to spirituality. You think and hope that another can, by his extraordinary powers—a miracle—transport you to this realm of eternal freedom, which is Happiness. Your whole outlook on life is based on that authority. You have listened to me for three yea
... See morefnep added 4mo ago
The fundamental change we need is a shift from a feeling- centered approach to decisions to a purpose- centered approach. The question isn’t “What do I feel like doing?” but, rather, “what needs to be done?” All the time management systems in the world won’t really help us very much until we’ve developed the capacity to make decisions based on purp
... See morefnep added 4mo ago