change

“The practices that carry the greatest potential for transformative change are usually counter- instinctual.” I take him to mean that if you’re trying to get better at life in some way– more patient, or better at listening, or less prone to procrastination or anxiety or self- sabotage– the necessary actions are pretty much guaranteed not to feel

I had always thought my best sessions were the ones where I explained things clearly. It turned out my patients liked the ones where I was passionate about change. It mattered less to them what I said than what they sensed stirring in my soul. I stopped trying to emulate the detached, cerebral style of the shrinks I’d grown up with. Instead, I

In our everyday life we are usually trying to do something, trying to change something into something else, or trying to attain something. Just this trying is already in itself an expression of our true nature. The meaning lies in the effort itself. We should find out the meaning of our effort before we attain something. So Dogen said, “We should

ADHD can make the future seem hopelessly distant. A goal that requires a significant investment of time, incorporates waiting periods, or has to be done in a sequence of steps can prove so elusive that you feel overwhelmed. When that happens, many adults with ADHD yield to the temptation to find an escape route.

The fundamental change we need is a shift from a feeling- centered approach to decisions to a purpose- centered approach. The question isn’t “What do I feel like doing?” but, rather, “what needs to be done?” All the time management systems in the world won’t really help us very much until we’ve developed the capacity to make decisions based on

We have the best chance to change our behaviour over the long term if we start with a realistic idea about the difficulties of behavioural change (Dean 2013).

It turns out that even when students understand that retrieval practice is a superior strategy, they often fail to persist long enough to get the lasting benefit. For example, when students are presented with a body of material to master, say a stack of foreign vocabulary flashcards, and are free to decide when to drop a card out of the deck

Avoidants should consider using the methods of Kelly, a psychologist, who, in the 1950s, used a technique called “fixed role therapy” to change people’s perceptions of themselves and help them break through their self-imposed limitations. In a clinical setting, using a technique applicable to avoidants, he had clients write a self-characterization

The ego likes big, dramatic actions that seem as if they’ll magically change the future. This gives the ego a sense of power. Real discipline is quite the opposite. It’s made up of an endless number of small steps, each of which can seem meaningless on its own. The ego has to humble itself to keep going on a productive course.