change

To summarize, the story-editing approach tries to change people’s personal interpretations of themselves and the social world in ways that make them happier and lead to more desirable behaviors. It is a family of approaches developed by social psychologists that includes writing exercises, such as the one developed by James Pennebaker; the

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This change cannot possibly be brought about without knowing oneself, self-knowledge. This is not knowledge of the “higher self” or knowledge of some “supreme consciousness,” for they are still within the field of thought. Unless one understands one’s self, the self of every day—what it thinks, what it does, its devotions, its deceptions, its

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But is knowing the truth really enough to activate its life-changing power? Clearly not: everyone knows what’s required to live a healthy life—a good night’s sleep, consistent exercise, and a healthy diet—yet for most people, simply telling themselves that isn’t enough. That’s because even after you know the truth, Part X has a way of neutralizing

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It’s simply that it’s scary to take even one step forward; also, that you don’t want to make realistic efforts. You don’t want to change so much that you’d be willing to sacrifice the pleasures you enjoy now—for instance, the time you spend playing and engaged in hobbies. In other words, you’re not equipped with the courage to change your

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Avoidants should consider using the methods of Kelly, a psychologist, who, in the 1950s, used a technique called “fixed role therapy” to change people’s perceptions of themselves and help them break through their self-imposed limitations. In a clinical setting, using a technique applicable to avoidants, he had clients write a self-characterization

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You are accustomed to authority, or to the atmosphere of authority, which you think will lead you to spirituality. You think and hope that another can, by his extraordinary powers—a miracle—transport you to this realm of eternal freedom, which is Happiness. Your whole outlook on life is based on that authority. You have listened to me for three

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As you're presumably aware, this is a terrible mindset for actually making lasting changes. What you need, instead, are tiny goals and a commitment to incremental progress (" small wins"), plus a willingness to encounter failure after failure as you stumble toward improvement. To put it another way: fresh- startism is a form of perfectionism, and

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But it’s worse than a mere contradiction– because what we are really doing when we attempt to achieve fixity in the midst of change, Watts argues, is trying to separate ourselves from all that change, trying to enforce a distinction between ourselves and the rest of the world. To seek security is to try to remove yourself from change, and thus from

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Go to bed early and get up early. Most people in the West fill their evenings with activity and stimulation. As you get into a yogic way of life, those activities such as “hanging out,” movies, TV, “making out,” etc., cease to exert such a strong influence over you. Then the change in schedule becomes easy. If you have the opportunity to live away

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