“Part of what I take to be her bravery is that she is looking around, asking, ‘Hey, I know all these couples have gotten rings and gone to the courthouse, but are they married?’ One thing you can do with that question is forget all about it and find some deadline to be anxious about. Or you can really hear the question, vividly. That’s the place... See more
Healing from avoidant attachment is not just gaining the ability to be in relationship, it's gaining the ability to be in relationship with someone you see as your true equal (no bullshitting here) and whom you do not have significant, inherent power over.
Attention is the beginning of love.
So many people, adults and children, have never experienced having someone give them their undivided, focused, and attuned attention; they have not experienced love, fully.
And that’s a big reason people are broken.
In any bond of depth and significance, forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again. The richest relationships are lifeboats, but they are also submarines that descend to the darkest and most disquieting places, to the unfathomed trenches of the soul where our deepest shames and foibles and vulnerabilities live, where we are less than we would... See more