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“Our ability to dream of something different, to name longing, to articulate a vision and commit to it, directly correlates to the likelihood that we

People who are good at solving poorly defined problems don't get the same kind of kudos. They don’t get any special titles or clubs. There is no test

That means the most effective reformers throughout history have rarely positioned themselves as revolutionaries tearing things down – they’ve framed c

Most of us get decked somewhere along the way in life, slammed to the ground, the world looking down on us. And when—not if, when—that happens, we hav

“What’s the point of having fuck you money if you never say ‘fuck you’?”

This planet is tended by innumerable invisible hands. When progress feels undetectable, I remind myself that much of life plays out on unseen stages.

The next stage of human economy will parallel what we are beginning to understand about nature. It will call for the gifts of each of us; it will emph

That animals seemingly anticipate events should humble us more. Changes in groundwater chemistry, electromagnetic fields and sound waves make animals

Unlike bad things, which tend to happen suddenly, good things tend to be built gradually, so are rarely newsworthy on any particular day. Thus, bad th

When eugenics-obsessed billionaires try to sell me a new toy, I don’t ask how many keystrokes it will save me at work. It’s impossible for me to discu

I feel like there’s something so soulless about our culture—something deeply, deeply missing in people’s experience of life, a kind of superficiality.

As defined by Photoplay, It was a “sort of invisible aura that surrounds your being and bathes you in its effulgence” — and anyone with It is “always

she had the same bald enthusiasm for life

The end game was never convenience but a texture-rich life that challenges and rewards us. Not happiness as a frictionless state, but satisfaction ear

The moat of low status is one of my favorite concepts, courtesy of my husband Sasha. The idea is that making changes in your life, especially when lea

what would one imperfect action teach me?

Writer Hanif Abdurraqib has said: “Find a living, breathing lineage to make yourself responsible to.” I love this encouragement to locate ourselves wi

One thing I didn’t realize until later in life is how the incentives of an industry shape your mood, your outlook, and even your character. In early s

Wind extinguishes a candle and energises fire. Likewise with randomness, uncertainty, chaos: you want to use them, not hide from them.– Nassim Nichola

If you want to untangle something, like string or a cord, focus on adding as much “looseness” as you can rather than trying to untangle it. -Kevin Kel

"The way I think about coaching is very much how I think about parenting. Your ability to drive change is down to the quality of your relationship, no

What if those words — “this is well within the realm of normal” — are actually the kindest and most loving gift we can offer you when you are in the c

And I do not want more doors—I want to walk through one without looking back. I want to love something long enough to feel it love me in return. I wan

There’s a phrase making the rounds online: “The more I heal, the less ambitious I become.” I’ve been wondering if its resonance reveals a quiet fatigu

As you well know, my dear, when you are in the actual inferno or emergency — meaning when life becomes bigger than you can handle, unmanageable and ex

Oldster Magazine is about people (of all genders) getting older. (I’m using the term “oldster” subversively, because I want to question who we conside

Here’s the most important reason I include people of all ages: I am trying to de-stigmatize and normalize the effects of aging by showing that it’s ha

What is this teaching me?

Latvia’s Flow won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature and was created because he was somehow obsessed Blender, the free/open-source 3D modeling tool.

Scott Alexander’s recent post argues that the best response to AI displacement isn’t optimization or doomerism—it’s play. Figure out what you actually

what would one imperfect action teach me?

I am a thousand almosts, held together by hesitation; a gallery of repainted selves.

I am grieving a life I’ve been disloyal to; too busy auditioning for all the ones I could have instead.

Robin Williams - I used to think that the worst thing in life is to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make

the deeper you go into any one thing, the more you find everything else quietly waiting there. steve reich discovered this in music: "whatever you pur

The good listener: someone who has learnt how to find bits of themselves in the experiences of others.

My being an artist is not a question of being able to make artwork. It is a question of my willingness to make something imperfect, or ugly, and how m

There are days that compel me to walk outside of my studio, turn my face to the sky, and scream with delight “I love my life! Thank you Universe!” at

I've always felt the best work comes from the combination of craft and channeling. But the truth is that a lot of my creative process within music has

Perfectionism often wears the mask of high standards, ambition, discipline. It parades itself as virtue, a propriety. In reality, it is rarely about t

Honey, I really don’t care what you have to do in order to return to a feeling of love. In your scariest moments, you have my permission to find me ho

If you loved someone, even for a little, it’s because you knew them. And if someone loved you, even for a little, it’s because they knew you. The know

I love tomatoes a little more than I used to because of a poem my best friend wrote. I paint landscapes because that’s what my grandpa on my dad’s sid

It means even more now, as we have lived enough to have accumulated some regrets, abandoned dreams, things we ruminate on late at night. We know the e

how many people you touched > how many people you reached

To enjoy life, we might have to stop thinking about what we will never be able to read and watch and say and do, and start to think of how to enjoy th

Mastery is the best goal because the rich can't buy it, the impatient can't rush it, the privileged can't inherit it, and nobody can steal it. You can

“Women with more social ties have a 10 percent longer life span and 41 percent higher odds of surviving to age 85 than women with fewer ties, regardle

There is no such thing as closeness without friction.

“Women with more social ties have a 10 percent longer life span and 41 percent higher odds of surviving to age 85 than women with fewer ties, regardle

The idea of research as leisure activity has stayed with me because it seems to describe a kind of intellectual inquiry that comes from idiosyncratic

“We have lost a sense of play. After 2020 did her big one, we’ve been looking for play..... with Pickeball, with trivia nights, and frickin’... improv

"Let us ask the gods not for possessions, but for things to do; happiness is in making things rather than in consuming them. In Utopia, said Thoreau,

“Schmooze” derives from the Yiddish “shmuesn”, which in turn derives from Hebrew “shemuah,” meaning “rumor.”

In Iran, Pistachios are known as the “smiling nut.” In China, the “happy nut.” And in some cultures, cracking Pistachios is considered a good omen — p

I’ve been comforted and energized by this idea — which I first heard in this interview with the novelist Zadie Smith — that caretaking is a kind of li

I’m reminded of what Spencer R. Scott describes as ‘becoming a person of place’ – the idea that rooting yourself somewhere makes the future feel more

Years may pass before you feel like you’re onto something, and this process will likely involve plugging your ears to the siren song of trends until y

She defines taste as “a deep internal coherence. A way of filtering the world through intuition that’s been sharpened by attention.” It isn’t about ae

We associate aesthetic with surface. But good taste is deep structure. It’s the throughline in someone’s life. You can see it in the design of their h

When I’m feeling confident, my taste is more reliable, grounded, and steady, and I’m able to shop slowly and with more patience. In the end, what I bu

What we have long called the creator economy is evolving to become more of a “meaning economy,” where the creators and brands and experiences that eng

We all know that life does not hand out bouquets. Flowers do not just appear in the world. The same is true for a life of meaning. Both are grown, ove

growing around the grief

Vorfreude: the joy of anticipationVorfreude means “the pleasure of anticipation.” I learned it from Jono Hey’s excellent Sketchplanations newsletter.

Unflinchingly honest, wildly compassionate, and fearless in the questions it asks and seeks to answer.

she had the same bald enthusiasm for life

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.”Anxiety, as Rollo May also pointed out, “is not being able to know the world you’re in, not being

Mental illness often looks like agitation—constantly militating against every circumstance.

The paradigm of acceleration fails to grasp the deeper human tension between action and contemplation. It’s a false binary, one that Benedict XVI (the

I didn’t feel comfortable inside the endlessness of it. I am the kind of writer who believes in taking the time I need to come up with something worth

“Life is always winking at us, calling our attention to the beauty hidden in plain sight. Why do we so often miss what’s right in front of us, lost in

The writer Ted Chiang was once asked in an interview if he ever considered publishing more frequently. Chiang, one of the greatest living fiction writ

Stopping to ask yourself, “why do I like this?” can give you answers that unlock even more than you initially thought. By slowly building up a strong

Why were we taught that to be worthy of our own love we have to be exceptional?

Their gospel of optimisation ignores the fundamental question: what’s the point of being 10x more productive if we’re not 10x more fulfilled?

Whenever you hear yourself saying “I have to…”, change it to “I choose to…” Remembering you have choices does wonders for your well-being. Julie Zuho

When you're dealing with something difficult, try zooming out and imagining it happening to a character in a movie. Instead of being stuck in the pain

Here is my definition of imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is the persistent, unrealistic, fear-inducing, fucking ridiculous belief that you are su

"Once you've started, you're halfway there."

“What our hope must do, is go to work. Our hope has to be active, not merely by existing, but by fueling our diverse and unique approaches and dedicat

I believe that our creativity grows like sidewalk weeds out of the cracks between our pathologies—not from the pathologies themselves. But so many peo

I’ve come to believe that the greatest sum of human wisdom on surrender resides in the spiritual disciplines that we find across religions and across

One lesson to learn from his death is that if we are to live well to the end, we need to be able to freely discuss when a life is complete, without sh

Overheard on the SocialsThe older I get, the more I realize that the most luxurious thing is being able to live in a walkable city. Wearing a nice lit

Maybe the true challenge of our time isn’t deciding whether to have children, but rediscovering how to live together, creating networks of care that s

“The intimacy that comes with time and attention allows us to be vulnerable with others. This intimacy, across a group, can become a durable network—l

After seeing some 800~ events take place at The Commons i've learned 3 things:1) plausible deniability: if you say we're here to make friends, friends

And thus our tradition began. Every weekend, we would bring our folding chairs out onto the street – we had to make do since our house doesn’t have a

However in this world of permissionless identity we can (and must!) manufacture stability - especially as we move through transition times. This is es

If there were ever a time to get clear about who we are, it’s this one. We each have a unique part to play in this transformative moment. We must shed

“Our ability to dream of something different, to name longing, to articulate a vision and commit to it, directly correlates to the likelihood that we

Metamorphosis begins within. In order to mend our relationship with this planet, we need more than sustainability: we need a change of spirit.

In this condensed pitch for a less work-centric life, he reminds us that “we are all more than just workers. We’re parents and friends and citizens an

“This is about teaching our kids that their self-worth is not determined by their job title. This is about reinforcing the fact that not all noble wor

Through DJing, sampling, mixing, music embodies so much of what we’re exploring. It’s our job as builders to find references that “re-unlock” the valu

She’s modeling radical self-acceptance on the world’s largest stage, giving the audience a space to revisit their own joy or pain, once dismissed or f

“It's almost like she expanded time and created a space where we could all contemplate and feel and think together in her music.”

It’s easy, I think, to understand how patriarchy feeds on apathy, and jealousy, and white women protecting their small spheres of power. It’s harder,

What if I begin to understand that clean culture — like diet culture, like purity culture, like bourgeois parenting culture — persists in part because

And in America, no matter how much you’ve got, someone next to you has more. This is what Chris Hayes once described to me as “fractal inequality.” Am

Chomsky and Robinson also acknowledge that other great powers acted in much the same way that the United States has, and these states also invented el

cohorts deliver unexpected outcomes. And here’s why you should really care about cohorts - businesses and individuals operating in uncertain environme

Meanwhile, our corporations are full of bodies - our offices have become disembodied and mediated via Zoom screens but our teams are still embodied an

A good brief increases the quality and reduces the quantity of conversation

Your success here will depend entirely on how successfully you can tell stories, and how successfully other people can repeat those stories, both to t

Floors and clothing are exemplary everyday built environments, so pervasive that we tend not to notice them. They structure our every intimate, mundan

Companionship content is the most durable in its closeness to human experience, to being around people. When we search for a YouTube video to watch,

The Great Diminishment has several causes. (The internet, social media, apathy, etc., all play a role. I’ve written more about how “everyone is numbin

But the real root of the problem is something much deeper than cost-cutting exercises, maximizing shareholder value, and a general loss of craft and b

The best indication of the health of an industry like journalism isn’t who excels there, because the answer is obvious: work robots who come from some

Late-stage capitalism, dying in and of itself, has medicalized and privatized this universal and primal process. It’s created industry from every poss

Perhaps confidence isn’t something to be built; it's right under the surface when that heavy bulk of needing to be someone is lifted. Embracing being

work as a social institution - Peter Senge

Perhaps confidence isn’t something to be built; it's right under the surface when that heavy bulk of needing to be someone is lifted. Embracing being

One of the most intelligent case studies in design is the Chinese tea cup. They’re made without handles simply because if it’s too hot to touch, it’s

Self-actualization means, at least partly, that you have designed a life that fits you—that allows you to express your human potential. And as I talke

Following a curriculum, you build mental models by processing simple examples, and then those simple models filter reality so that you become blind to

So what we see is that self-actualization is a flywheel: you become self-actualized by seeing reality clearly so you can design a life that fits you,

“The question is how we transition from what could, despite our best intentions and deepest feelings, merely be a performance, to making the work the

I was shocked when I realized that I actually wasn’t envious of Gilbert’s professional success. I admired it, but it wasn’t what had triggered me. Wha

I want to do x, so why can’t I? For many months now (as you could tell by my silence) I have had the hardest time prioritizing the thing that’s import

Brands see a store with a cafe get popular and impersonate their bastardized idea of the formula they saw work for someone else, again choosing to ign

Even IRL socializing becomes a numbers game, where networking and schmoozing become the standard and everything needs to be a Brand Actvation or pop-u

How can we know whether a conceptual metaphor is doing what we want of it? What features do good alternative conceptual metaphors have in common? How

At this moment in the 21st century, we see a new form of extractivism that is well underway: one that reaches into the furthest corners of the biosphe

The “language” that is created from these ways of consuming impacts our actual ways of communicating as well. Eventually after enough time is spent po

BRIAN ENO So what you see when you watch someone surfing is they take control momentarily, to situate themselves on a wave, and then they surrender. T

The system rewards companies that keep their users highly engaged with their app and unless we dramatically change incentive and regulatory structures

For generalists, mastery doesn't mean knowing everything about one thing; it means understanding how to apply knowledge from one area to another in in

I’ve come to realize: being a generalist isn’t something we choose. It’s something inherently in our nature — it’s how we see the world. We can think

A generalizing specialist has a core competency which they know a lot about. At the same time, they are always learning and have a working knowledge o

I like the term generalist, it’s one of the best descriptions of my career(s) and also a good representation of something I see as vital: being able t

If you work on anything worthwhile, sooner or later people will care about it and will want you to send progress updates. These could be quarterly inv

Waiting is the act of staying where one is, of delaying action until a particular time comes around or an external event occurs. It’s a risky state to

Pretty privilege is a form of self-sustaining energy, in that way—all the positive feedback that attractive people receive instills a kind of self-wor

But there’s a plot twist: an absence of pretty privilege doesn’t necessarily condemn you to a life less extraordinary. People are dynamic, attraction

I’m fascinated by the way that the cheerleaders themselves have narrativized this sort of self-objectification: in all the talk about locking eyes wit

There’s such a fine line between owning the ideal, and manipulating it to your own ends....and being eternally disciplined by it.

I could sense the difference between authentic effortless (actually not giving a damn and being comfortable in my skin) and this manufactured effortle

Coolness is an elusive concept without a universal definition, allowing everyone to have their own interpretation. Some people’s entire job is making

I find that my new idea of a “cool girl” doesn’t exude that icy, unattainable coolness anymore, but rather an accessible warmth. They don’t resist the

The declining quality, overwhelmed customer service, and constant drops of “limited edition” “sustainable” clothing feel like textbook results of prio

Blaming and complaining are mixtures of genuine grief and defensive anger.

The crucial point is: by changing ourselves, we change the world. As we become more loving on the inside, healing occurs on the outside. Much like the

Every once in a while, I meet a person who radiates joy. These are people who seem to glow with an inner light. They are kind, tranquil, delighted by

Being resonant as a person means having a deep and lasting impact on others, often by connecting with them on an emotional or experiential level. This

The sense of connectedness and compassion characteristic of individuals with high levels of personal mastery naturally leads to a broader vision. With

Feelings unspoken are unforgettable

“In many ways the magic of Patagonia comes from the constraints we place on ourselves which are grounded in our deep sense of responsibility to do rig

“Leaders must be able to master four major tasks. Firstly, they need comprehensively to grasp the overall strategic situation in a conflict and craft

“Great leadership has many different attributes, but it starts with knowledge of a particular pursuit, because without the knowledge and mastery of th

“How do you do a good job as a leader when you have to sell a decision you don’t agree with?” Part of what we’ve talked about is how to get to a place

Generative Engagement, as a model, is a way of thinking about how you make moment-by-moment choices to interact with others to create generative space

The best executive recruiting in the world starts with you — what you are great at and what you want — and maps that to what the company is looking fo

As I said, most companies and most interviews focus more on the question: can this person do what we need? But if you’re trying to recruit the best ta

Alchemize the pickle. You will be relentlessly confronted with conundrums, situations, pickles, and dumpster fires for which you do not yet have the k

Letting go is not difficult—processing loss is.

Allowances — for grief, for pain, for childbirth, for illness — have been so hard to come by, I think, because we discount the body. Worse, we hold it

stories trapped in my cells, emotions in my fascia: there was information hidden in my body, and I didn’t know it.

Allowances — for grief, for pain, for childbirth, for illness — have been so hard to come by, I think, because we discount the body. Worse, we hold it

We love to convince ourselves that things are circumstantial. Like, I love painting, but I don’t paint anymore because I’m too busy. Like, I’m not rea

What you want is never a thing.

"I don't know where I'm going, but I know exactly how to get there."I recently heard this quote from Boyd Varty. It spoke to me, because one of my gre

Measuring from zero helps us keep perspective. I’ve often recommended a similar exercise, but in this version you make your friends disappear instead.

Whatever emotion you try to avoid, you end up inviting into your life - in the exact way you try to avoid it.

The way to find what that emotional blind spot is is to ask yourself: “If I couldn’t feel judgement at this moment, what emotion would I have to feel?

Imagine waking up and feeling curious about what the day might bring. Imagine feeling that subtle excitement about getting to know yourself more. Imag

Stop assuming that people are mad at you. Stop attempting to read people's minds. Stop trying to manage the thoughts and emotions of others. Let peopl

“Other people might not understand who you’re becoming, or why you’re choosing what you choose, or what you’re doing during your seasons of emergence.

I threw a housewarming party after living here for one month and had dozens of people sipping wine out of every drinking vessel I owned, blessing my h

Exploring the internet together should be like exploring a vast old library with your friends. Wandering down different shelves, skimming the pages th

Compliments are an other-oriented token that don’t demand a response from the person they are directed to. They also don’t usually require the receive

Out of all the “regulars” I’ve interacted with in all the places I’ve worked, the strongest bonds have always been with the people that made me feel s

Organizations that share their “flight plans” with employees reduce uncertainty about where they are headed and why. Ongoing communication is key: A 2

. Neuroscience experiments by my lab show that when people intentionally build social ties at work, their performance improves. A Google study similar

Compliments are an other-oriented token that don’t demand a response from the person they are directed to. They also don’t usually require the receive

Out of all the “regulars” I’ve interacted with in all the places I’ve worked, the strongest bonds have always been with the people that made me feel s

These folks are the guardians of the party’s communal energy. Their charisma is mature and thoughtful, not narcissistic. They can subtly refine and re

Gathering Structures

“When I talk about generous exclusion, I am speaking of ways of bounding a gathering that allows diversity in it to be heightened and sharpened, rathe

“I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatsoever I can. I want to be thorough

Her kindness and candor. Her curiosity and intellectual courage. Her willingness to explore and contemplate the layers of things rather than reaching

interested in big things, and happy in small ways

Burnout is not what it presents: it’s not about working too hard for too long, burnout is about working in the face of a goal that seems too far out,

What gets clicks becomes what gets made. The edges get sanded down. Originality gives way to imitation. Junk food wins, so everyone starts cooking cra

It takes yesterday’s trends, remixes them with today’s keywords, and spits out tomorrow’s mediocrity. It’s not thinking. It’s rehashing. Recursively,

We must choose the “longest way round” because meaning is neither fast nor viral nor optimized.It’s made. Slowly. Painfully. Honestly.By humans.

But what felt new was the speed and violence with which language now manifests markets. I’d sit in meetings as a single phrase “AI-native vertical Saa

People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an ex

So much value and love for the process of writing and what it does for the coherence between heart, brain, imagination, lived reality, unseen, and see

You can’t write a viral essay that says “it’s complicated and I’m not sure.” But this is the only path to truly novel insight.

Writing is a task that takes both objective and subjective intelligence. LLMs ace the objective parts the same way they ace every test; you can’t faul

How the Greatest Entrepreneurs Hire (h/t David Senra) Steve Jobs stated that each new hire became a percentage of the company, so why wouldn’t you tak

The most control you can possibly have is how you choose to show up, and where you choose to put your energy. You show up, and then you let others do

In working so hard to become independent, we forget how much satisfaction we get from the sense that others depend on us, and the meaning we can creat

On a cold Monday in December, 65 people were gathered for Reading Rhythms, an event that bills itself as “not a book club” but “a reading party.” The

“It’s the Italian tradition of dining as a discussion,” the German author Hans von Trotha commented over dessert. At Santa Maddalena, unhurried meals,

A conversation between Alex Dobrenko and Douglas Rushkoff on the spiritual nature of awe, rescuing the human from the machine, and why the future depe

We've fallen for the trap of thinking something doesn't exist if it isn't on the Internet. Maria Popova: "The internet is a surface level of the oce

A person spends years trying to become beautiful online. They finally achieve the exact face, body, lifestyle, and aesthetic they once fantasized abou