Sublime

The modern woman is a blur of activity. She is pressured to be all things to all people. The old knowing is long overdue.

conscious parenting goes beyond techniques aimed at fixing a specific behavior, speaking instead to the deeper aspects of the relationship between parent and child.

In New Orleans, my dad worked during the day and was a law student at Loyola at night. There was always an informal and fun feel to our lives there. Once we got to Houston, he dressed up every morning and commuted to an oil and gas corporation along with every other father in our neighborhood. Things changed, and in many ways that move felt like a

The solution is mindfully to create an alternative culture. To build a subversive household in which the dinner table conversation is actually conversation, with the screens switched off. To value family time together above time that kids spend with same-age peers. To create a space for silence, for meditation, for reflection, so that your child

Don’t create a situation in which she feels that she has to choose between you and the person described above, because that girl is cooler than you are. Tell her you know she’s in a difficult position, but encourage her to take responsibility, because her torn feelings look like two-faced behavior to other girls. Ask her, “Who’s making the

There is a strong message in our society about how to boost children’s self-esteem, and a main part of that message is: Protect them from failure!

“Becoming is better than being.”

The responsible child, or the “hero,” is usually the oldest. He or she grows up assuming the responsibility the parents shirk.

Another way to parent proactively is to HALT before responding to your kids. When you see your child’s behavior trending in a direction you don’t like, ask yourself, “Is he hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?” It may be that all you need to do is to set out some raisins, listen to his feelings, play a game with him, or help him get more sleep.