Raising your child to know and care about virtue and character is not a special extra credit assignment reserved for the superior parent. It is mandatory for all parents. And when you are given a mandatory assignment, you must do your best, regardless of your own short-comings.5 Regardless of whether your peers—other parents—are paying attention to

You must help your child to find meaning in life that is not about their latest accomplishment, or how they look, or how many friends they have, but about who your child is, their truest self.

As journalist Alina Tugend recently observed, we parents “end up convinced that being average will doom our children to a life that will fall far short of what we want for them.” The very word “ordinary” has become a derogatory term. Brené Brown, a professor of social work, suggests that in 21st-century America, “an ordinary life has become

But the pursuit of fame and wealth and good looks for their own sake impoverishes the soul.

But this question—achievement versus happiness—is based on false premises. There is no point in pushing your kid harder to achieve if he or she has no goal or sense of purpose that gives some context to that achievement. Likewise, there isn’t much point in letting your kids relax and do whatever they desire if you have not first educated their

instead of on who they are, their character. It’s part of your job as a parent to help your child develop character, self-control, Conscientiousness. To help your child to learn what does and does not matter.

As New York Times columnist David Brooks recently observed, American culture today is based on the premise “that career and economic success can lead to fulfillment,” an assumption that Brooks calls “the central illusion of our time.”5

Life is precious. Each minute is a priceless gift. No amount of money can reclaim lost time. If you are wasting your time on work you detest, you may come to feel resentful about the time you are losing.

In short she is not living so much as she is performing, putting on a show to impress the college admissions office. And it breaks my heart to see so many parents aiding and abetting this puppet show in the belief that they are acting in their kids’ best interest.