Sublime

“When … someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!

We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathic attention.

our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting.

the point isn’t to change your actions but to change your consciousness.

For Rogers, the cardinal sin in therapy, or in teaching or family life, is the imposition of authority. A radical egalitarian, Rogers sees individuals as capable of self-direction without regard for received wisdom and outside of organizations such as the church or the academy. Despite its origins in the helping relationship, Rogers’s philosophy is

This is a crucial stage in conflict resolution. We must not assume that when one party expresses a need clearly, that the other party hears it accurately. I asked the wife, “Can you tell me back what you heard to be your husband’s needs in this situation?”

People who are gifted at dialogue keep a constant vigil on safety.

However, the most powerful way to communicate that we are making a genuine request is to empathize with people when they don’t agree to the request.

First, we observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are we observing others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life? The trick is to be able to articulate this observation without introducing any judgment or evaluation—