Sublime

Instead of expressing needs, they were doing analysis, which is easily heard as criticism by a listener.

Our requests are received as demands when others believe they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply. When people hear a demand, they see only two options: submission or rebellion.

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism.

muitos fomos educados desde que nascemos a competir, julgar, exigir e avaliar, a pensar e se comunicar conforme o que é “certo” e “errado” nas pessoas. As maneiras habituais de pensar e se comunicar, na melhor das hipóteses, refreiam a comunicação e criam mal-entendidos ou frustrações. Pior ainda, podem provocar raiva e ressentimento e levar à viol

Conversely,

NVC suggests that our paraphrasing take the form of questions that reveal our understanding while eliciting any necessary corrections from the speaker. Questions may focus on these components: what others are observing: “Are you reacting to how many evenings I was gone last week?” how others are feeling and the needs generating their feelings: “Are

Expressing genuine requests also requires an awareness of our objective. If our objective is only to change people and their behavior or to get our way, then NVC is not an appropriate tool. The process is designed for those of us who would like others to change and respond, but only if they choose to do so willingly and compassionately. The objecti

To tell if it’s a

Empowering of the Other to accept or reject our arguments removes the Other's fear, the fear that always defeats us.