What is really happening right now and what can I do about it?

This explains why people in rough situations—for instance, a soul-sucking job—often have to hit a bottom of sorts before they can move forward in earnest. A person can tell themselves that what they are doing is not good for them and that they need to stop, but until they mean it in every bone of their body, their mental and emotional energy goes

The key is that you’ve got to truly accept your reality: not think about accepting it, not talk about accepting it, not wish you could accept it, but actually accept it. Your mind all too easily detects when you are lying to yourself.

Christine’s being orientation was integral to her surviving, and even thriving, amidst so much change and uncertainty. She quickly realized that her identity was more than what she had (her role as marketing director at her company), which enabled her to move forward with ruggedness and flexibility. Central to Christine’s being was creativity and

The main argument15 in To Have or To Be? is simple yet profound. When you operate in having mode, you define yourself by what you have. This makes you fragile because those objects and attributes can be taken away at any given time. “Because I can lose what I have, I am necessarily constantly worried that I shall lose what I have. . . . I am afraid

Working extra hard to come up with a story or rationale for what is happening instead of answering plainly is a good clue that there is likely some pent-up resistance.

we ask ourselves some version of, What is really happening right now and what can I do about it? we tend to know deep down whether we are deluding ourselves or not.

Put all this together and a common theme emerges: the goal is to open to the flow of life and accept change, to assimilate the anomalous cards in our own respective experiences and get comfortable in a world that, at times, may seem upside down.

Meanwhile, the same modern science8 demonstrating the harmful health effects of resisting change also shows that if we can let go of our stubbornness and defiance then change actually promotes health, longevity, and growth.