Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

control.

we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy and allow others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.

a “Babble-on-ian”—someone who elicits in their listeners the fear of interminable conversation.

“Would you be willing to set the table?” rather than “I would like you to set the table.”

me.

No matter what others say, we only hear what they are (1) observing, (2) feeling, (3) needing, and (4) requesting.

Expressing genuine requests also requires an awareness of our objective. If our objective is only to change people and their behavior or to get our way, then NVC is not an appropriate tool. The process is designed for those of us who would like others to change and respond, but only if they choose to do so willingly and compassionately. The objecti

no matter what words people use to express themselves, we listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

as a rule of thumb, it is safe to assume that speakers expressing intensely emotional messages would appreciate our reflecting these back to them. When we ourselves are talking, we can make it easier for the listener if we clearly signify when we want or don’t want our words to be reflected back to us. Reflect back messages that are emotionally cha