Sublime

Tara Brach, in her book Radical Acceptance,

Some discoveries I made about parts: •Even the most destructive parts have protective intentions. •Parts are often frozen in past traumas when their extreme roles were needed. •When they trust it’s safe to step out of their roles, they are highly valuable to the system.

In a good-enough holding environment in early life, I learn that it is safe to be myself, knowing and showing my deepest needs and wishes. This happens in a family with an embrace wide enough to include all of me. Given such a welcome in the world, I gain a sense of stability and coherence, and I develop a reliable source of self-support, a nurtura

As a workshop leader, how you teach is more valuable than what you teach. It’s not about charisma. It’s about being clear, consistent, appreciative, encouraging, caring, and optimistic. Real power comes from warmth, presence, and the ability to self-regulate and respond more naturally to whatever comes up in your group.

David Emerald did just that after he studied Karpman’s work. He developed a kind of anti-triangle, which he called the “empowerment dynamic.”

It is also not necessary to believe that you must have teachers or intermediaries to help you find the healing you need. While others can have help to offer, you are the one who knows, and can know, yourself best. Take responsibility for yourself and what you need to do to heal your imbalances.

The other voice, your natural voice of preference and self-preservation, is not compulsive and does give you a choice. It becomes insistent only in the most extreme situations of urgent danger. Short of that, it is content to tap gently on your consciousness as soon as you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. It is as though it wants you to have a choice,