rob hardy

Whatever your spiritual practice is, if it's not making you more honest in your relationships, it's not working

To arrive somewhere remarkable we must be willing to hold many paths open without knowing where they might lead.

This line from David Foster Wallace still haunts me:

“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?”

And he’ll

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Remember that to always be rebelling against a thing is still to be controlled by it.

Isn’t it wild how much power our words have?

How easily they can cast spells on people, how they have ripple effects in all directions?

And yet how often we shy away from using them, even when all they would do is bring more beauty into the world?

So what are you waiting for?

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey.”

—Wendell Berry

Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.

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People do not actually coordinate with each other. Rather, people are coordinated by language. If you want to improve your ability to coordinate, you must upgrade your vocabulary.