what even is perfectionism??
boy, this single word sure does mean a lot of things to a lot of people, huh?
what even is perfectionism??
my working definition of perfectionism is that it's the pathological need to be perceived as both special and exceptional, because you learned that love and acceptance are conditional on being perceived that way
Most people live their lives in between these 2 emotions-
1. Hope that if they achieve something, they will find happiness.
2. Fear that if they lose what they have, they will never be happy.
The day you understand neither of them are actually true is the day you are free.
1. Hope that if they achieve something, they will find happiness.
2. Fear that if they lose what they have, they will never be happy.
The day you understand neither of them are actually true is the day you are free.
Joe Hudson • Tweet
How many dreams are abandoned for fear of looking stupid in the eyes of those who never think about us at all
Dylan O'Sullivan on Substack
Often when people are stuck in life it’s because they’re holding out for the delusional possibility of a costless way of getting what they want, instead of just paying the cost
Dear Future Self,
I'm no longer trying to become you.
Not because I've given up,
But because I finally understand:
You emerge from how gently I hold this moment,
Not from how fiercely I chase the next one.
I'm no longer trying to become you.
Not because I've given up,
But because I finally understand:
You emerge from how gently I hold this moment,
Not from how fiercely I chase the next one.
Tweet
This line from David Foster Wallace still haunts me:
“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?”... See more
And he’ll loo
Tommy Dixon on Substack
That moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control.
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more