what even is perfectionism??
boy, this single word sure does mean a lot of things to a lot of people, huh?
what even is perfectionism??
If you’re a perfectionist, you want more of something. What is it? Why do you want that? How do you imagine getting what you want will make you feel? Perfectionism invites a deep, unending exploration of who you are and what you most desire from this life.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Plea
... See moreBrené Brown • Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
Perfectionism represents the natural, innate, and healthy human impulse to align with our whole, complete selves. A restored perfectionist understands that it’s not that you long for some external thing or for yourself to be perfect, it’s that you long to feel whole and to help others feel whole.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
perfectionism is a personality trait in which we constantly see the gap between how things are and how they could be (in ourselves, our environment, our relationships, and the world), and feel the compulsive drive to close that gap with our actions. perfectionists can’t just let it be. they are driven to make things better, even at high personal co
... See moreThat moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control.
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
Su • Tweet
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
The 45 Best Brené Brown Quotes About Courage, Shame & Vulnerability
Dear Future Self,
I'm no longer trying to become you.
Not because I've given up,
But because I finally understand:
You emerge from how gently I hold this moment,
Not from how fiercely I chase the next one.
I'm no longer trying to become you.
Not because I've given up,
But because I finally understand:
You emerge from how gently I hold this moment,
Not from how fiercely I chase the next one.
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A perfectionist in a maladaptive mindset feels as if they already “lost” at being whole, good enough, or acceptable as they are. Maladaptive perfectionists strive to achieve goals (including interpersonal goals like people-pleasing) in the hope that others don’t feel empty-handed in their presence.