what even is perfectionism??
boy, this single word sure does mean a lot of things to a lot of people, huh?
what even is perfectionism??
Perfection is a paradox—you can never become perfect, and you already are perfect. A perfectionist in an adaptive mindset believes both those statements are true. A perfectionist in a maladaptive mindset believes both those statements are false.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
If you’re a perfectionist, you want more of something. What is it? Why do you want that? How do you imagine getting what you want will make you feel? Perfectionism invites a deep, unending exploration of who you are and what you most desire from this life.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
A perfectionist in a maladaptive mindset feels as if they already “lost” at being whole, good enough, or acceptable as they are. Maladaptive perfectionists strive to achieve goals (including interpersonal goals like people-pleasing) in the hope that others don’t feel empty-handed in their presence.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Perfectionism is easy to see on someone. Physically it is a rigidity in the musculature and there can be stunted tones in the voice. Mentally they are often second-guessing themselves, hesitant, and overly precise.
Joe Hudson • Tweet
That moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control.
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
Su • Tweet
This line from David Foster Wallace still haunts me:
“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?”... See more
And he’ll loo