what even is perfectionism??

boy, this single word sure does mean a lot of things to a lot of people, huh?

sigh ‎ ‎ ‎ swoon • Tweet

perfectionism is a symptom of a culture that mistakenly believes that maximizing control (over self, others, natural resources, information, and the world at large) is the key to human flourishing.

Excellence emerges from intimacy with imperfection

A perfectionist in a maladaptive mindset feels as if they already “lost” at being whole, good enough, or acceptable as they are. Maladaptive perfectionists strive to achieve goals (including interpersonal goals like people-pleasing) in the hope that others don’t feel empty-handed in their presence.

Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.

Ellen Hendriksen • “If I Let Go of Perfectionism I Won’t Be as Good as I Am Now.”

one of the most exhausting habits, maybe even addictions, is the desire to want to be seen accurately, judged correctly, understood perfectly

there is power in letting distortion exist

when the need to be understood loosens, the energy returns to what actually wants to be made

Leona • Tweet

Regina Rosenfeld • Tweet

Adler (1973) regarded perfectionism as an indispensable part of life, a striving to rise above feelings of dependency and helplessness. Understanding one’s personal power, for Adler, involved maximizing one’s abilities and using them for the good of society. Maslow (1971) equated the full realization of one’s potential with the absence of neurosis.

Dr. Linda Silverman • Perfectionism: the Crucible of Giftedness

That moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control.

If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.

But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting... See more