
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

In the words of every therapist ever, let’s keep talking about this.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Dethrone the idea that anyone else could ever begin to instruct you on how to be who you are. As well-intentioned as others may be, as ever-bursting with love or credentials or authority or experience that others may be, you are the one who knows.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
I had a waking dream. You and God were in it. You approached God’s door, which was ajar. As you knocked, you entered. You came with flowers and sweet confections in your hands. God saw you and beamed. “Come in, come in! How wonderful it is to see you!” God was telling you the truth. God noticed the beautiful flowers and cheerful candies you were ho
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You’ll have moments where you forget everything in this book; that’s fine. I’ll have moments where I forget everything in this book and I wrote the damn thing. Don’t build your story from the part where you forget; build your story from the part where you remember.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
We all lose control over and over again, and we all have the same choice to make. We either fight to regain the illusion of control, or we work to align with our power. The choices you make moving forward belong only to you. Will you choose self-punishment or self-compassion? Absence or presence? Performance or freedom? Isolation or support? Resent
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Everything you need to be powerful, you already have. Everything you need to enjoy your life, you already have. The work of self-acceptance requires you to accept your flaws and limitations, yes; it also requires you to accept your wholeness. There’s perfection inside you, there’s completeness, and there’s freedom. There’s a place where your mistak
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The external achievements you’re working on that you think are going to certify your belonging with others: the career moves, the body, the fill-in-the-blank achievement before fill-in-the-blank age? I say this with all the love in my heart: nobody cares. All people care about is you, and you are not a composite list of your perceived accomplishmen
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We get so swept away in our efforts to uncover the meaning of life, drunk on existentialism. It’s so simple: all people want is connection. It’s connection that brings joy and meaning to our lives—that has always been the case and will always be the case.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
resistance for perfectionists involves resisting your inherent worth. The remedy to resistance is not discipline; it’s pleasure. Pleasure is an antidote for so much. Find what brings you real pleasure and you will find your way home to yourself.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
We can’t rise to our potential while our basic needs go unmet. And whenever fundamental human needs go unmet, trauma is not far behind.[*]