Ish H

Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?

Phases of Love Bombing Idealization Phase

This is the “wow” stage. You’re praised, adored, and told you’re unlike anyone else (well, you are unlike anyone else, but still). Things feel effortless with this person, and they might say things like “I’ve never felt this way before” after only a few dates. It can feel magical, but it’s also moving at a

Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset — “Those with a ‘fixed mindset’ believe that abilities are mostly innate and interpret failure as the lack of necessary basic abilities, while those with a ‘growth mindset’ believe that they can acquire any given ability provided they invest effort or study.”

If success is a catalyst for failure because it leads to the “undisciplined pursuit of more,” then one simple antidote is the disciplined pursuit of less .

All the best, happiest, and most creatively productive times in my life have something in common: being disconnected.

Cognitive Biases — “Tendencies to think in certain ways that can lead to systematic deviations from a standard of rationality or good judgments.” (See list of cognitive biases)

We have to be wholly at peace with the prospect of many years of solitude in order to be appropriately picky; otherwise, we risk loving no longer being single rather more than we love the partner who spared us that fate.