The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved
Esther Perelamazon.com
The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved
Love is about having; desire is about wanting.
Esther Perel • Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Betrayal is, fundamentally, any act or life choice that doesn’t prioritize the commitment and put the partner “before all others.” Nonsexual betrayals can devastate a relationship as thoroughly as a sexual affair. Some common forms of deceit include being emotionally distant, siding with a parent against one’s mate, disrespecting the partner, and b
... See moreJohn Gottman • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
The unfaithful partner has insufficient constraints in themselves. In other words, their selfishness trumps their relationality. Sooner or later they’d cheat on anyone. The issue in these cases is narcissism and entitlement. Life is short. I deserve it. The relationship has become so unsatisfying—so contentious, or distant, or dead—that the cheater
... See moreBruce Springsteen • Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Goop Press)
intimacy comes with a growing concern for the well-being of the other person, which includes a fear of hurting her. But sexual excitement requires the capacity not to worry, and the pursuit of pleasure demands a degree of selfishness. Some people can’t allow themselves this selfishness, because they’re too absorbed with the well-being of the belove... See more
Esther Perel • Mating in Captivity
Through the lens of Romanticism there can be, quite simply, no greater betrayal. Even for those willing to countenance almost every other kind of behavior, adultery remains the one seismic transgression, appalling in its violation of a series of the most sacred assumptions of love. The first of these is that one person can’t possibly claim to love
... See moreAlain de Botton • The Course of Love: A Novel
Set aside some time for introspection. Remember some times when you felt jealous, and write about how that felt. You may find your mind preoccupied with thoughts about what those other people were doing. It may take a little patience to go back to your own feelings: rage, grief, despair, desperation, anxiety; feelings of being lost, ugly, lonely, w
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