Sublime

Think of your old brain as being hardwired and determining most of your automatic reactions.

there is no disorder to straighten out, no threat for the self to defend against.

To achieve and maintain the relationships we need, we must stop choosing to coerce, force, compel, punish, reward, manipulate, boss, motivate, criticize, blame, complain, nag, badger, rank, rate, and withdraw. We must replace these destructive behaviors with choosing to care, listen, support, negotiate, encourage, love, befriend, trust, accept,

stated that there was a basic division of the ways of men: those who wish for peace of soul and happiness must believe and embrace faith, while those who wish to pursue the truth must forsake peace of mind and devote their life to inquiry.

The strength of this model is that it has been extensively studied in research. Scilligo introduces the concept of an “integrated self”, which significantly alters the understanding of “self” as described by Berne. Scilligo defines the integrated self as “a web of potential meanings, values, and norms of action with emotional valence, creatively

But the really interesting thing is that the choice between trust and control is seldom debated on a rational level. It’s a choice that gets made based on deeply held, often unconscious assumptions we hold about people and their motivations.

You can begin probing into the underlying motivations of the behavior you want to change.

The theory of compensation that these figures supposedly exemplify begins with Alfred Adler, the third, least-known, and shortest-lived member of the great therapeutic triumvirate of Freud, Jung, Adler. His studies of gifted personalities universalized the idea of compensation into a basic law of human nature. His evidence, gathered in art schools