Sublime

As adults, we can laugh at how immense and insurmountable problems like those “lunch tray moments” can feel when you’re young. But in Girl World they’re vital issues, and to dismiss them as trivial is to disrespect your daughter’s reality. Within those moments are ethical choices and complex dynamics that are just as challenging as negotiating a pe

Her friendships are defined by power, not mutual support, trust, or care.

Popular girls like this are acting like any other group of privileged people. They don’t recognize their privilege because they are blind to it. It’s all they know, and they haven’t had to go through the experience of understanding what it feels like to be on the outside. They know little to nothing about people outside of their group and are reluc

If you’re a mom reading this, it’s important to remember that your experiences as a girl are both your greatest gift and biggest liability as your daughter navigates her own friendships. They’re a gift because they enable you to empathize. They’re a liability if your past makes you so anxious or reactionary that you can’t separate your experiences

Esther's ’TRICK’ acronym is a great one to remember: Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, Kindness.

the importance of finding an ally for your daughter in those cases where she’s not comfortable talking to you.

What Does She Gain by Being a Target? This may seem like an odd question, but being a Target can have some hidden benefits. There’s nothing like being targeted to teach your daughter about empathy and understanding for people who are bullied and/or discriminated against. Being a Target can also give her objectivity. She can see the costs of fitting

She thinks she belongs, but the Queen Bee and the Sidekick are just using her; she’ll lose all her friends, then the Queen Bee and her Sidekick will destroy her reputation. Don’t be a Pleaser/Wannabe if you can help it.

But what’s critically important about this exercise is that it enables the adult to teach a fundamental value: Each person’s truth is of equal value. No one gets to speak for anyone else or dismiss an opinion just because it’s not shared by the people who have the most power.