Sublime

Who they were mattered. And no one would interrupt. And there would be no discussion until the Round was finished. And everyone would give the person speaking respectful, interested Attention. They could count on it.

Give boundaries when the child is testing.

The CEO guides and leads others with confident efficiency. She doesn’t use an unsure, questioning tone, get angry or emotional. Our child needs to feel that we are not nervous about his behavior or ambivalent about establishing rules. He finds comfort when we are effortlessly in charge.

Many of us received the message as children that strong displays of emotion are unacceptable and conflicts are to be feared. Unfortunately, this perspective makes it next to impossible to stay unruffled with toddlers, who (as I explained above) need to disagree with us and feel safe expressing their strong emotions. Shifting this paradigm is one of

Unruffled, calm, and matter-of-fact are words I often use to help parents understand that intense responses to their kids’ behavior tend to backfire. Our children need to know that their parents and caregivers are not thrown by their minor misdeeds, so they can rest assured that they are well taken care of and not more powerful than the leaders the

“Can you do this on your own, or will you need me to give you a helping hand?”

was a strong advocate for children expressing themselves freely, but I also believed that they needed to be taught boundaries. These limitations were not to silence or oppress them. It was rather to teach them behaviour that was not only socially acceptable, but showed consideration for everyone around them.