Sublime

Want your kids to listen to you better? Be brief. Once you address the behavior and the feelings behind the behavior, move on.

Second, describing what we see puts the onus for deciding how to respond to the observation on the child, thus exercising his upstairs brain. That’s how we help him develop an internal compass, a skill that can last a lifetime.

Thrush, of Carnegie Mellon University, in a study published in 2010, found that three specific behaviors underlie this broad term. You too can provide a secure base by adopting the following secure behaviors: • Be available: Respond sensitively to their distress, allow them to be dependent on you when they feel the need, check in with them from

in a disciplinary interaction, we embrace our kids’ emotions, and we teach them to do the same. We want them to believe at a deep level that even as we teach them about right and wrong behavior, their feelings and experiences will always be validated and honored. When kids feel this from their parents even during redirection, they’ll be much more

You are your child’s greatest gift in this world—or at least you can be. Choose to be your child’s champion. Choose empathy over disappointment, love over anger, self-efficacy over fixing blame, and problem-solving over punishment.

But if I say something like, ‘Hey Benjy, no biting Mommy! You can bite your blankie or your teddy,’ then five minutes later I’ll hear her giving him a choice.”

Many children face a different response from each parent. In those instances, the child chooses. Should I be a hammer like Dad or a long-suffering anvil like Mom? Most children will model themselves on the parent with whom they identify—the one they feel closest to (not necessarily the same-sex parent)—and react to the other parent in many of the