Sublime

You are giving your child a crucial vocabulary of feelings that he can resort to in times of need.

what you see on the surface is a child’s behavior and that what you don’t see is the child’s legitimate need for our shared support and regulation of those needs.

doing something for your children that they can do, or can learn to do, for themselves.

Recently I’ve stopped saying, “If you’re good, I’ll . . .” Instead, I say, “Melissa, it would be helpful to me if . . .” And when she does do something helpful, I try to describe it back to her.

Children who observed their parents using language as a tool for cognitive exploration, rather than just control, were more likely to emulate that usage.

treating our children, not as they are, but as we hoped they would become.