Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

By putting the children in charge of the sharing. (“Kids, I bought one bottle of bubble soap for everyone. What’s the best way to share it?”) 2. By pointing out the advantages of sharing. (“If you give her half of your red crayon, and she gives you half of her blue crayon, you’ll both be able to make purple.”) 3. By allowing time for inner process.

had another child because I wanted Christie to have a sister, someone to play with, a friend for life. Well now she has her sister and she hates her. All she wants to do is ‘send her back.’”

Don’t get trapped by “togetherness.”

It really is easier for a child to change his behavior when someone accepts his strong feelings.

But it sure wasn’t obvious to us.

guess it can get pretty annoying to have to listen to nothing else but ‘party, party, party,’ all week. Especially when your own birthday is so far away.”

The experts in the field seem to agree that at the root of sibling jealousy is each child’s deep desire for the exclusive love of his parents.

They need some attention for what they’re feeling: ‘Claudia, it can be hard to watch your sister get new pajamas when you’re not. And even though you know all the reasons why she needs them and you don’t, it can still bother you.’”

Dad: You think that babies have everything done for them and that being a baby is fun. Michael: Yes. Daddy would you like to be a baby or not?

“To be loved equally,” I continued, “is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely—for one’s own special self—is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.”