Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

upsets me when we try to have a nice day out with the three girls and the bickering never stops. Is there anything we can do about it? Different children at different times in their lives are better off with less “togetherness” with their siblings. They can use separate outings, separate friends, separate interests, separate activities, separate ho

WHEN THE CHILDREN CAN’T WORK OUT A PROBLEM BY THEMSELVES

Aside from not forcing sharing, how else could you encourage it?

“But here’s the difference: We intervene, not for the purpose of settling their argument or making a judgment, but to open the blocked channels of communication so that they can go back to dealing with each other.”

Children are also entitled to adult intervention when necessary. If one child is being abused by the other, either physically or verbally, we’ve got to step in. If there’s a problem that’s disrupting the entire household, we’ve got to step in. If there’s a problem that keeps coming up that hasn’t yielded to their solutions, we’ve got to step in.

Start by acknowledging the children’s anger towards each other. That alone should help calm them. 2. Listen to each child’s side with respect. 3. Show appreciation for the difficulty of the problem. 4. Express faith in their ability to work out a mutually agreeable solution. 5. Leave the room.

“What I’m seeing now is that it’s up to the parent to set the tone, to make it clear that no one in the family is ‘the problem.’” “Some of us might have greater needs or greater challenges, but we all need to be accepted as we are.” “And each of us is capable of growth and change.” “Which doesn’t mean we won’t have problems, but we’ll deal with eac

treating our children, not as they are, but as we hoped they would become.

We want to make it clear to each of our children that the joys of scholarship, dance, drama, poetry, sport are for everyone and not reserved for those who have a special aptitude.”