Rutger Osinga
@rutgero
Rutger Osinga
underrated love language: curiosity
french name (@frenchname)
Relationships and Contact
A problem people have is that they think: “How dare you say what’s on your mind, when I can’t”
o matter how much power our oppressors act like they have, these people feel the most powerless internally. because honestly, if your power comes from outside of yourself, its not sustainable, and it was never yours to begin with.
Substack • if we're lucky, we never become 'good' humans
ANXIETY. The number two reason people don’t see others is that they have so much noise in their own heads, they can’t hear what’s going on in other heads. How am I coming across? I don’t think this person really likes me. What am I going to say next to appear clever? Fear is the enemy of open communication.
David Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
It was the friendships that I was holding onto out of guilt, not out of love. It was the dreams I clung to like they were my lifeline, even when they no longer brought me joy. And it was the constant, relentless feeling of being tired! Tired of pretending, tired of giving, tired of convincing myself that things would get better if I just kept trying. If I just kept pushing. But later, I realized that pushing when you’re already broken only makes the cracks deeper. You don’t get stronger from pushing things that aren’t meant for you. You just get more tired. You just get more lost.
we are everything we haven’t integrated. of course, our integrated selves are at the fore-front of our being in our day to day, when we feel empowered. but, the moment we get activated or our feelings get hurt, we become our disintegrated selves. these disintegrated selves are all the things we haven’t felt in full, all the worlds we’ve had to... See more
Substack • if we're lucky, we never become 'good' humans
In Zen, there’s a saying: When you point at another, three fingers point back at you. What you see in others - especially what triggers or disgusts you - is often an unrecognized fragment of yourself. Judgment reveals where you are still asleep. Every time you condemn another, you are projecting a shadow you have not yet integrated. The moment you... See more
Substack • The Mirror of Judgment
its the way that cis men will never willingly hand over their power or start deconstructing patriarchy, sexism, and masculinity until they are awakened to the reality of all the deep feeling that was stolen from them. they only realize when they are forced to reflect deeply about a life of failed relationships, feelings of deep incompleteness and... See more
Substack • if we're lucky, we never become 'good' humans
Worldviews and On men