Rob Tourtelot

Every story must have an Elephant. The Elephant is the thing that everyone in the room can see. It is large and obvious. It is a clear statement of the need, the want, the problem, the peril, or the mystery. It signifies where the story is headed, and it makes it clear to your audience that this is in fact a story and not a simple musing on a

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That sharp turn away from blaming others happens once you finally address your shame. Shame is something everyone has, thanks to our shame-ruled, shame-dispensing culture, but some people obviously have it worse than others. I’ve always been massively ashamed and self-hating, and for a long time, even in Ask Polly, I described shame as a thing you... See more

I want to invent new paths forward every day. And I want to make people feel their way to the truth. I want to rearrange their hearts using my words. I want to redesign their minds -- artfully and thoughtfully and inventively. When I give that gift to someone else, I receive it, too. It’s the absolute best. It’s not easy but it never gets old.

Much as working with a piano teacher is not, fundamentally, about learning songs, but about using songs to push yourself; I now think of our projects, not as ends in themselves, but as means to help us improve the underlying process and ourselves. This helps put me in the right frame of mind. I want this essay to turn out well, of course. But the... See more

At the center of living without shame and fear is a spirit of surrender. You surrender to the moment, you surrender to the day. You put away every puzzle and you step outside to soak in the springtime air and give your love generously.

nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know…nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. perhaps there is no solid obstacle except our own need to protect ourselves from being touched. maybe the only enemy is that we don’t like the way reality is now and therefore wish it would go away fast. but what we find as... See more