Ola Aiyegbayo

Our basic recipe, then, is to first steep ourselves in every aspect of the problem and then identify the questions that need to be answered. The most creative minds usually belong to those who know the most about the matter at hand.

People will always hear what you haven’t said. Or they will hear the minor points and miss the major ones.

Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet. I meet others with the life I’ve lived, not just with my questions.

The purpose of listening

is not to reply,

but to hear what is not being said

If you want to make someone think, ask them a question. A good question can change someone’s perspective, which can change everything. “A change in perspective,” said Alan Kay, “is worth 80 IQ points.”

Rule number one: Ask If you have a question to ask, ask it. Don’t beat around the bush. Ask away.

Rule number two: Ask why Don’t be the idiot that forgot to ask why. It’s perfectly normal to probe as part of a conversation.

So, if you don’t fully understand the answer, ask why.

Why do you say that?

Could you explain?

Being a good listener is one of the most important and enchanting life skills anyone can have. Yet few of us know how to do it, not because we are evil but because no one has taught us how and – a related point – few have listened sufficiently well to us. So we come to social life greedy to speak rather than listen, hungry to meet others but reluct

Closed questions are also bad questions. Instead of surrendering power, the questioner is imposing a limit on how the question can be answered. For example, if you mention your mother and I ask, “Were you close?,” then I’ve limited your description of your relationship with your mother to the close/distant frame. It’s better to ask, “How is your mo

The fourth reason we don’t ask questions, says Marquardt, is that we lack the skills required to ask them.