juliana ong

The hard problem is earning the right to hold people’s memory. The best way to preserve agency and fight technological fascism is by making the alternative so culturally compelling that people choose it because it serves them better and is more fun.

In the end, the boy discovers what we all must eventually, if we are to grow into the full bigness of the heart: that in every relationship of trust and tenderness, each is the guardian of the other’s particularity; that to love someone not for the comfort or compliance they can give you but for exactly who they are, the special and particular... See more

Courage changes things and courage changes us. It’s how we become. I have found that there is a “right-sized” fear inside any vision for change, and in taking courageous action we develop a part of ourselves that can talk back to and hold the fear without letting it lead... The courage we need is the courage to fail and stay... The courage to exit... See more

A recent study found that after casual sex, women, on average, report high levels of loneliness, unhappiness, rejection, and regret. Conversely, men report higher satisfaction, happiness, contentment, and mood improvement. 

This is one of a few dynamics where social progress supposedly intended to benefit women instead ended up benefiting men.

Love asks for heat. Left cold, we harden into our existing shape. But under the steady warmth of attention, we soften, loosen, and take on new form. The right gaze reorganises the self; you begin to recognise yourself more clearly in their eyes, and they in yours. Each becomes more singular by being seen, a longing to inhabit the silhouette cast by... See more

My advice for travel is the same as it is for most things in life: question accepted wisdom and authority. Be open to disaster and strangers. Occasionally let your aloneness devour you. Shred the itinerary. You have to do interesting things to have interesting thoughts. Stop being so fucking safe.