It is rare for people to come into themselves if no one is excited and curious about their core, their potential. We need someone who gives us space to unfold.
Perhaps the most important insight is this: when we criticize our technology, weâre really criticizing ourselves. And when we try to imagine better systems, weâre really trying to imagine better ways of being human.
Most of us have never experienced the kind of love that transforms you and expands your interiority, so we donât realise itâs out there. But it is and it exists. Once youâve experienced it, you canât go back to the mimicry, because it feels like a sorry excuse for the real thing.
Jacob Falkovich says that single people often seek out similarity when complementarity is what makes relationships cohere long-term. Itâs a great observation. But how to operationalize it? Maybe: look for someone you canât initially understand, but also donât feel like walking away from.
Iâm no moral philosopher, but from a behavioral standpoint, a lot of what we consider âevilâ is poor self-control and/or psychopathy, which both make some of us less likely to suppress acting on impulses coming from the darker side of our human nature.