hannah ludlow

The one who receives the wish is never the one who made it.

When you’re faced with multiple obsessions, passions or desires, choose the one that resurrects a disowned hunger so audacious, so taboo, it would recreate you into a deeper authenticity you’ve so far denied yourself.

To choose the erotic is to orient the compass of your life by what makes your soul turn toward the light, not by what is expected or endorsed. And that can be excruciating. Because the erotic does not offer guarantees. Sometimes it leads us to joy. Sometimes to heartbreak. Often to both, simultaneously. But it always leads us somewhere real.

To suppress the erotic is to forgo passion, but also to forfeit independence. For what else is autonomy, if not the freedom to choose according to one’s own rhythm, one’s own longing, one’s felt truth?

How is it that you actually commit to what you're doing?

My solution is fairly simple: Deliberate once, and then don't deliberate again until you get new information that would have changed the result of your deliberation.

I think digital scrolling induces a kind of blackout. Not in the way alcohol causes one, but in the sense that time disappears without anything worth remembering. There are days I can barely recall—not because they were traumatic, but because they were simply unmemorable. A digital fog. Hours passed without touching anything real. No texture. No de... See more

If I sternly tell myself to do something, I will refuse myself within a few days. This has advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantage is that I spent a lot of time flaking out of jobs, not doing particularly well at school, and, generally, underachieving. The advantage is that, through spontaneously following my excitement, I’ve gradually shift... See more