what even is perfectionism??
boy, this single word sure does mean a lot of things to a lot of people, huh?
what even is perfectionism??
my working definition of perfectionism is that it's the pathological need to be perceived as both special and exceptional, because you learned that love and acceptance are conditional on being perceived that way
In actuality, perfectionism must be seen as a potent force capable of bringing intense pain, frustration and paralysis, or incredible satisfaction and creative contribution, depending upon how it is channeled. It has the potential to lead to professional fulfillment and spiritual development, but if the energy is diverted by self-doubt and lack of
... See moreDr. Linda Silverman • Perfectionism: the Crucible of Giftedness
Perfectionism represents the natural, innate, and healthy human impulse to align with our whole, complete selves. A restored perfectionist understands that it’s not that you long for some external thing or for yourself to be perfect, it’s that you long to feel whole and to help others feel whole.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Often when people are stuck in life it’s because they’re holding out for the delusional possibility of a costless way of getting what they want, instead of just paying the cost
Sasha Chapinx.comThat moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control.
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.
But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting ... See more
Su • Tweet
A perfectionist in a maladaptive mindset feels as if they already “lost” at being whole, good enough, or acceptable as they are. Maladaptive perfectionists strive to achieve goals (including interpersonal goals like people-pleasing) in the hope that others don’t feel empty-handed in their presence.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.