things you should remember

a principle isn’t a principle until it costs you something

Having a beginner’s mind doesn’t mean being naïve. It means resisting the reflex to slot new inputs into old categories. When we approach a system—or a person—as if we already understand it, we stop noticing what doesn’t fit. Complexity gets filtered out in favor of confirmation. And then we mistake recognition for understanding.

Beginner’s mind is ... See more

"The quality of your thoughts is determined by the quality of your reading. Spend more time thinking about the inputs."

t’s a gift, to have something so obvious to offer each other. And to be visually reminded of what others have gifted you, without your asking.

In the college co-ops I spent time in, there was a rule: “Yours plus one.”

We’re not meant to move through life alone, especially when in transition. We need mirrors—people who reflect back the parts of ourselves we can’t yet see. We need guides who have walked the path before. We need people to hold us lovingly and nonjudgmental so that we can learn to hold ourselves in the same way.

It’s also helpful to have others by ou... See more

"Caring about everything is a disaster.

Caring about nothing is also a disaster.

Nurture the small pocket of things that truly matter to you."

After a lifetime working at mattering, I realized I had under-invested in what really mattered: Relationships.