Relationships

Intelligence is a form of friendship with the world. It can’t be cultivated out of fear of it.

People often destroy their relationships over their whims. "He doesn't go rock climbing with me." "She doesn't do this specific thing when we're having sex." They start to obsess over this lack, mistaking a flight of fancy for a great and vacuous unfulfilled desire that if satisfied, will fix everything. What could have been summarily dismissed... See more

ritualized, compulsive self-disclosure is not intimacy

it’s often a defense mechanism, one that masquerades as vulnerability but actually kills erotic charge, polarity, and mystery

shared experience, unspoken tension, and real-time attunement are the components of intimacy