on friendship
I think true love is inseparable from selfhood. Love, at its best, sharpens who we are. But the paradox is that it often requires clarity to begin with. The more honestly and precisely you can express your interior world, the more easily the right person can find and respond to it. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, love itself becomes the very force that... See more
speak so you can be found
“I kept thinking, love must be here, somewhere. I looked and looked inside myself, but I couldn’t find it. I knew what love was. It was the feeling I had for my dolls, for beautiful things, for certain friends. Later on, when I knew Debbie, my best friend, I felt even more sure that love was what made you feel good. Love was not what made you feel
... See morebell hooks • All About Love: New Visions (Love Song to the Nation Book 1)
We underestimate how much feeling seen has to do with the other person understanding how and why you make the choices that you do.
Isabel • same wavelength
to connect with someone means to learn about someone while simultaneosly learning more about ourselves
‘You’re too hard on yourself,’ she said. ‘You can do long-term love. You’ve done it better than anyone I know.’ ‘How? My longest relationship was two years and that was over when I was twenty-four.’ ‘I’m talking about you and me,’ she said.
Dolly Alderton • Everything I Know About Love
The search for any kind of love, I now believe, is a continual process of looking in and out. Looking inwards to understand yourself, to be curious about your needs and desires and gifts and flaws, to develop generosity and self-compassion. Then looking outwards to use the power those things give you to love other people, and the life you are
... See moreNatasha Lunn • Conversations on Love: with Philippa Perry, Dolly Alderton, Roxane Gay, Stephen Grosz, Esther Perel, and many more
Boys fascinated me and frightened me in equal measure; I didn’t understand them and neither did I want to. Their function was for gratification, whereas female friends provided everything else that mattered. It was a way of keeping boys at arm’s length.
Dolly Alderton • Everything I Know About Love
There’s a certain admiration you see in someone you connect with instantly and want to know deeper. A sense of: I get what this person is about and I admire it. Admiration is fundamentally seeing something you aspire to be in others—seeing your own light shine in someone else. Admiration reveals what is of value to you , whether that value is... See more
same wavelength
Trust yourself: be who you are and amplify your signal. That’s how you find your people, and that’s how they find you. If something doesn’t feel right, or if you feel like you are forcing a connection more than it’s flowing, trust that there is someone else or somewhere else where you are meant to be instead.