Trust yourself: be who you are and amplify your signal. That’s how you find your people, and that’s how they find you. If something doesn’t feel right, or if you feel like you are forcing a connection more than it’s flowing, trust that there is someone else or somewhere else where you are meant to be instead.

A realization I recently had while travelling is that there are a lot of things you feel you “should” do when you’re somewhere new: places you should see, people you should be around, scenes you should experiment with. But when you really tune in to how you feel in any setting, you can pretty much tell whether it is activating you or not—whether it... See more

We underestimate how much feeling seen has to do with the other person understanding how and why you make the choices that you do. If there is too large a gap between how you both approach life, it can be nearly impossible to feel fully understood by them, and conversely: for you to understand them. You’re just different. And that’s okay! We’re not... See more

We underestimate how much feeling seen has to do with the other person understanding how and why you make the choices that you do.

Those people are also usually the best mirrors (because connection is derived from admiration, and admiration is derived from seeing your own light in someone else). The people you share a wavelength with reflect your light back to you uniquely—they see you on a level others don’t, because they understand you on a level others don’t. And you do the... See more

I’ve come to understand that being on the same wavelength as someone is some combination of (1) admiring them, (2) sharing deep elements of yourselves (values, interests, principles, current inner context), and (3) being socially compatible (having similar ways that you like hanging out with one another). If you align on any of these, you’re going... See more

Admiration is like having a micro-crush—often totally independent of romantic interest. It’s the same idea as crushes being misplaced ambition: you see something in another person that you want to be more of.

There’s a certain admiration you see in someone you connect with instantly and want to know deeper. A sense of: I get what this person is about and I admire it. Admiration is fundamentally seeing something you aspire to be in others—seeing your own light shine in someone else. Admiration reveals what is of value to you , whether that value is... See more