what do i do?

Create a vacuum between you and what you're looking for. Instead of forcing it, Step back and draw it to you. - Rick Rubin
"For me, that’s pretty much it: waking up and being excited and curiously restless to face the day ahead, and being very present with that day, and then going to bed feeling like it actually happened, that the day was lived. There’s nothing more than that, really."
Maria Popova • Maria Popova — Cartographer of Meaning in a Digital Age

Our crossing is a brief one, best spent bearing witness to all that we see: honoring what we find noble, tending what we know needs our care, recognizing that we are inseparably connected to all of it, including what is not yet upon us, including what is already gone. We are here to keep watch, not to keep.
Maria Popova • Losing Love, Finding Love, and Living with the Fragility of It All
And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Paulo Coelho
Paulo Coelho
If you have time to consume, you have time to create.
100 Simple Truths
There are two ways to make the world more mesmerizing: to seek out new and increasingly intense experiences, or to loosen the filters that make ordinary experience “ordinary”. You can go skydiving, or you can meditate for long enough that walking feels like skydiving. Either way, I think what we’re seeking is an escape back into what we used to be,... See more