Identity

After twenty years of mostly taking care of my daughter’s and husband’s needs first, I had no idea what I wanted. If you put yourself last, you can’t even see yourself anymore! So I took my time, getting to know myself again, trying things out, and asking myself, do I like this? Do I want more of this? Or less?

But here’s the thing: When I do actually find a rare bit of “me” time, I often don’t know what to do with it. I’ve been drowning so long and so deep in my own mental labor, I don’t even know who I am when I stumble upon a life preserver.

In order to figure out what we want to do with our precious time and energy, we have to figure out who we are an... See more

If you’re under 90, try things.

A person who is good at mirroring is quick to experience the emotions of the person in front of them, is quick to reenact in his own body the emotions the other person is holding in hers. A person who is good at mirroring smiles at smiles, yawns at yawns, and frowns at frowns. He unconsciously attunes his breathing patterns, heart rate, speaking sp

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You don’t immediately think, “This tiger needs to go to tiger therapy and get a prescription for tiger anti-depressants so it can feel better about living in a zoo and stop feeling sad about having to suppress its wild instincts”. You don’t think the tiger needs to “get over it” and make the most of its situation. You don’t consider showing the tig

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Like the tiger, we dream of the savannah, the rainforest and the mangrove swamp. We want to hunt and fuck and bask in the sun. We want to climb trees and drink from freshwater streams. We want to pursue our true calling and live to our full potential. I believe this desire is in every one of us. And when it’s suppressed long enough, we rebel. Somet

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“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”

the thing is, as an adult, you get to make your own cool. you get to choose your own friends, live your own life. and let me tell you, in my life, where i make the rules, i am the coolest cat around.

being passionate about your hobbies is cool. asking good questions is cool. reading books is cool. taking notes is cool.

thinking of projects and then d... See more

Question: How can I judge myself less harshly and appreciate myself more?

Ram Dass on self-judgment:

I think that part of it is observing oneself more impersonally. I often use this image, which I think I have used already, but let me say it again. That when you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some ... See more