Cultivating intimacy

Good crushes and love are data-collection systems for identity, because they help you understand your shape

The person you choose to marry should always add to the softness and luxury you have already created for yourself.

And yet, somewhere beyond my carefully guarded solitude–I know my walls are not unbreakable. With the right person, I’d want to see what dishes they’re cooking and hear the songs they’re playing on repeat. But real love should never feel like surveillance. It should be the kind of knowing that doesn’t require proof. The kind of presence that... See more

There is something deeply tragic about how love is spoken of today. Not love, really, desire. Lust dressed up in aesthetics, marketed as closeness. Infatuation that burns hot and fast, then vanishes with the first discomfort. We live in a time where the word “connection” is used so lightly, but experienced so rarely. Where the craving for bodies is... See more

It’s about longing. It’s the gentle ache of getting to know someone piece by piece, of building something meaningful together. It’s in the small, thoughtful gestures, the love notes, the quiet walks, the unspoken ways we say, I see you, and I care. When we skip yearning, we skip the foundation of intimacy.

I can see when two people are close in a way that blocks their energy from the rest of the world, insulated and intimate and barring others from entering. I can also see when two people are close in a way that supports each other in being more engaged with the world. I admire the couples who are able to inhabit both states: experiencing the kind of... See more