Conversations

How to criticize something you disagree with

Here are social psychologist Anatol Rapoport’s rules for criticizing something:

You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.”

You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are ... See more

I have been thinking a lot about the continued and increasing lack of importance being placed on the idea of conversation , things over the past few years can feel so transactional. Thing is, like everyone, I love the one-way form of conversation that exists via the abundance (and abundance of forms) of content that is out there that drives me to c... See more

Roughly match the tempo, volume, and style of others

One thing I’ve learned to do intuitively is match the tempo of someone I’m talking to—I can’t do it perfectly, but I try. If they’re quiet, meek, and deliberate, I refrain from overpowering them. If they’re fast and snappy and loud, I try to keep up. This is pretty crucial. If you stomp all over s... See more