conversations with friends
So why don’t people talk more? Epley continued his research and came up with an answer to the mystery: We don’t start conversations because we’re bad at predicting how much we’ll enjoy them. We underestimate how much others want to talk; we underestimate how much we will learn; we underestimate how quickly other people will want to go deep and get
... See moreDavid Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
Ask about the conversations they’ve had recently. Ask what they’ve learned about themselves or about the world this year as a result of their experiences. Get curious. Go beyond the surface.
Kat Vellos • We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships
when I’m in a conversation with someone now, I’m trying to push against that and get us into narrative mode. I’m no longer content to ask, “What do you think about X?” Instead, I ask, “How did you come to believe X?” This is a framing that invites people to tell a story about what events led them to think the way they do. Similarly, I don’t ask peo
... See moreDavid Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
TIP ONE: ASK DEEP QUESTIONS
A deep question asks someone about their values, beliefs or experiences. Rather than asking someone about the facts of their life (“Where do you live?”) it asks how they feel about their life. (“What’s the best part of where you live?”) Studies show that people love answering deep questions, because it gives us a chance ... See more
A deep question asks someone about their values, beliefs or experiences. Rather than asking someone about the facts of their life (“Where do you live?”) it asks how they feel about their life. (“What’s the best part of where you live?”) Studies show that people love answering deep questions, because it gives us a chance ... See more
Susan Cain • How to turn "small talk" into Big Talk
One way — and I think this is a really lovely way, and I think it’s an interesting question to ask oneself, too. And the question is, when is the last time that you had a great conversation, a conversation which wasn’t just two intersecting monologues, which is what passes for conversation a lot in this culture? But when had you last a great conver... See more
John O'Donohue • John O’Donohue — The Inner Landscape of Beauty
We too often think that deep conversations have to be painful or vulnerable conversations. I try to compensate for that by asking questions about the positive sides of life: “Tell me about a time you adapted to change.” “What’s working really well in your life?” “What are you most self-confident about?” “Which of your five senses is strongest?” “Ha
... See moreDavid Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
James Baldwin | Love has never been a Popular Movement
youtube.comHere’s how the Question Bowl game works: After you’re seated and settled at the table, everyone writes down a question on a small piece of paper and adds it to a bowl. You pass the bowl around and people randomly pick a question to answer aloud to the group. Here are some fun questions that’ve come up when I’ve played in the past:
- What’s something
how to avoid boring thanksgiving table conversation
Hey hi hello. It's me, Ann, the yellow sweater-wearer. I gave this talk at The Love Symposium. It was called Understanding Interpersonal Conflict. Here's generally how it went:
-A conflict is a disagreement. Not all disagreements escalate into fights.
-Fights are caused by threat (real or perceived). Some people are more threat-sensitive than oth... See more