That moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control. If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next. But perfectionism actually prevents the very
If you’re a perfectionist, you want more of something. What is it? Why do you want that? How do you imagine getting what you want will make you feel? Perfectionism invites a deep, unending exploration of who you are and what you most desire from this life.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.
... See moreBrené Brown • Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
Perfectionism is a mindset that demands we perform as superbly as possible to be sufficient as a person. We conflate our goodness as a person with our performance in areas we care about—academics, our job, our social behavior, fitness, appearance, parenting, home organization, the list goes on.