is your perfectionism coming from fear or from love?
love-based perfectionism sounds like:
- "I want to make this better"
- "I can see how beautiful this could be"
- "it'd be even more fun if I could do it this way"
fear-based perfectionism sounds... See more
scott 🌞x.comis your perfectionism coming from fear or from love? love-based perfectionism sounds like: - "I want to make this better" - "I can see how beautiful this could be" - "it'd be even more fun if I could do it this way" fear-based perfectionism sounds like: - "I need to make this better" - "I'm scared to put bad work into the world" - "I'd finally feel relief if I could just get this right" love-based perfectionism can be indulged, as it tends to lead you to greater heights with fear-based perfectionism, you have an opportunity to understand the underlying fear (e.g. "if I'm not competent, I'm not worthy of love") and move towards it with loving curiosity, so it can start to relax
If you’re a perfectionist, you want more of something. What is it? Why do you want that? How do you imagine getting what you want will make you feel? Perfectionism invites a deep, unending exploration of who you are and what you most desire from this life.
Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
For instance, look at one of your major life goals. Is it a fear-based goal or a love-based goal? Are you trying to give and contribute to the world, or are you trying to take from it?
thibaut meurisse • Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings (Mastery Series Book 1)
This locks perfectionists into an exhausting behavioral pattern of pleasing people, perfecting efforts, performing for others and proving themselves. People with a healthy drive for success, on the other hand, are much more self-focused and inspired by asking themselves how they can improve. It’s a stark contrast with perfectionists, who ask ‘what
... See moreBrené Brown • Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.2 Life-paralysis refers to all of the opportunities we miss because we’re too
... See moreBrené Brown • The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
‘Where does this fear come from?’ Is it a ‘me’ reason or a ‘them’ reason? ‘Me’ reasons are fears associated with your perception of your ability. For example, being scared that you’re not good enough or not well prepared enough to start. ‘Them’ reasons are fears associated with how other people will react to what you do. For example, being scared
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