When a parent is significantly absent—physically or emotionally—the child always feels rejected and infers that the parent’s neglect or absence is due to something in the child that is defective or unlovable.

A child’s relationship to his parents is in some way like our relationship to this God. So if I suffer, let me believe I have committed some offense, even though I don’t understand what it is. It is too terrifying to imagine that my parents do not know what they are doing. I will disown what I see, repress what I feel—and take the guilt upon myself

When childhood needs are not taken care of because of abuse or abandonment, we spend our lives viewing the world through the distorted perception of a needy infant or

This insecurity means that children can’t trust their parents to soothe their distress—to kiss the boo-boo and make it go away. They learn that the world is really not safe, that their parents can’t be relied upon.