The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity

The statement is, “Don’t make me have to kill you.” This is often said in a friendly tone, but it’s an acknowledgment that there is something they want and they…

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The more attuned the rescuer is to the rescuee’s needs, the less self-serving the act is. If the action seems un-attuned and forced, it’s probably…

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However, this is not a black and white, either/or, kind of distinction. Both dynamics may be going on at once: the rescuee may actually need the help, and the rescuer may need to see himself as a hero. What distinguishes the Heroic Rescuer from someone who is simply providing what is needed is the extent to…

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The first thing you’ll notice is that their energy is big and has a pushy, aggressive feeling to it. They will be actively influencing the situation, not sitting back passively or just letting things unfold. They will want to participate in…

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The most important thing you can do to help others get out of pattern is to get yourself out of pattern. Whenever you’re in pattern, you’re putting a strain on everyone around you, and that strain tends to put them into pattern, also. So the biggest favor you can do for all of your friends, family, and co-workers is to be in presence, rather than i

The key to shifting into the gifts of the pattern is in discovering that they are not alone but held by something larger, stronger, and loving. This allows them to come out of the fight or flight response, relax into that holding love, and re-open their hearts.

And she will act on them, thinking she is being herself, when in fact, she is being who the people around her want her to be. From an early age, she will become very skillful at pleasing others by being who they want her to be, but woefully inept at pleasing herself or even knowing herself.

A milder, more ideal early environment tends to produce lighter patterning in a child, depending, of course, on the child’s sensitivity to that particular kind of wounding.

However, in most interpersonal conflicts, automatically shifting into anger and blasting the other person only makes things worse. It does not address the aggressive-patterned person’s real needs, and it makes the other person even less willing to engage and trust.

Instead of moving the world, they can allow it to move them. For the first time, they can take pleasure in letting go.