Work on Me First, Us Second • Remember that the only person you can directly control is yourself. Focus on What You Really Want • When you find yourself moving toward silence or violence, stop and pay attention to your motives. • Ask yourself: “What am I acting like I want?” • Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for

A coworker slights a project you’re leading in a meeting. Instinctively you hit back with a comment that undermines them or their work. You didn’t make a conscious choice to respond, you just did. Before you even know what’s happening, the damage is done. Not only does the relationship suffer but the meeting goes sideways.