Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

explain the common mistake as an example of what you don’t want.

To help clarify deliverables, use Contrasting.

Who? • Does what? • By when? • How will you follow up?

It can be as simple as saying: “Your input is critical here. And please be aware, this is a consult decision. I’ll take your input along with that of others and make the decision.” Or “I’d like for this to be a consensus decision. But we need to make the decision today, and we only have an hour for this meeting. If we can come to consensus in that

Who cares? Determine who genuinely wants to be involved in the decision along with those who will be affected. These are your candidates for involvement. Don’t involve people who don’t care. 2. Who knows? Identify who has the expertise you need to make the best decision. Encourage these people to take part. Try not to involve people who contribute

It should only be used with (1) high-stakes and complex issues or (2) issues where everyone absolutely must support the final choice.

When facing several decent options, voting is a great time saver but should never be used when team members don’t agree to support whatever decision is made. In these cases, consensus is required.

Voting is best suited to situations where efficiency is the highest value—and you’re selecting from a number of good options.

Consulting can be an efficient way of gaining ideas and support without bogging down the decision-making process.