Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Difficult People

Thus, instead of asking someone, “What did I do?” we might say, “I’m frustrated because I’d like to be clearer about what you are referring to. Would you be willing to tell me what I’ve done that leads you to see me in this way?”

feel I understand your concerns completely.” Now how often in your own life do you get this sort of treatment when you are feeling angry or upset? Probably not much. So if you learn to do this one thing—hold back at the beginning of a difficult conversation and simply focus

Hang on a second. Several times now, when I’ve said the things that are important to me, you’ve gotten very angry to the point where I feel threatened. I don’t know what’s causing your response. If you’re upset, I’m interested to hear why. If you’re trying to intimidate me into changing my mind, it won’t work. I really do want to know what’s upsett

“I’m not saying you intended to hurt me. I don’t know whether you did or not. What’s important to me is that you understand how I felt when you criticized my work in front of the department.”