“No problem” is a problem

When it comes to feedback, I think Neil Gaiman’s advice captures the right attitude: “Remember: When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”

know that your responsibility is to receive that feedback neutrally. You are on a fact-finding mission, so you don’t want to jump down anyone’s throat or inhibit their honesty. You don’t want people to tell you solely what you want to hear,

Universalizing negative feedback takes the pressure off the critic. The critic is putting the blame back on the artist instead of taking responsibility for her opinion.

I also thought that if I were to give advice to someone who’d just received thanks for a meaningful favor, I’d warn against minimizing the favor in all-too-common language that disengages the influence of the rule of reciprocation: “No big deal.” “Don’t think a thing about it.” “I would have done it for anybody.” Instead, I’d recommend retaining th

If receiving praise is what one is after, one will have no choice but to adapt to that person’s yardstick and put the brakes on one’s own freedom. “Thank you,” on the other hand, rather than being judgment, is a clear expression of gratitude. When one hears words of gratitude, one knows that one has made a contribution to another person.