For a long time, it was “you’re welcome.” This indicates that you put in some effort and you’re willing to do it again on request.

Recently “no problem” has become more common. This implies that the effort could have been a huge hassle, but this time, it was okay.

For people who are choosing to do the work of hospitality and connection, though, the... See more

I also thought that if I were to give advice to someone who’d just received thanks for a meaningful favor, I’d warn against minimizing the favor in all-too-common language that disengages the influence of the rule of reciprocation: “No big deal.” “Don’t think a thing about it.” “I would have done it for anybody.” Instead, I’d recommend retaining

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"Watered-down feedback can be worse than no feedback at all because it’s deceptive and confusing to the recipient. But don’t beat them up or attempt to show your superiority. Doing so will defeat your purpose because when done properly, feedback is a dialogue, not a monologue."

When you start explaining how you intended your product to work, or what you were thinking when you built it, you’ve turned the interview (or the support conversation) on yourself. By sharing negative feedback, someone is telling you that they hoped what you built would work for them (positive intent!) yet there was a disconnect when using it that

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Feedback is a gift. If somebody gives you a gift, what do you say? “Thank you!” Then ask more questions in order to understand what is being said and why: “What made you think that?” “How long has this been an issue?” “Don’t name names, but can you tell me more about how your coworkers are feeling?” “Whom do you suggest I talk to about this

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