If a person seems to have a good grasp of a book or other artistic or aesthetic object, by all means be willing to let the conversation flow in that direction, because you will end up staring right into that person’s soul.
If a person seems to have a good grasp of a book or other artistic or aesthetic object, by all means be willing to let the conversation flow in that direction, because you will end up staring right into that person’s soul.
Saved by Agalia Tan and
When you’re first getting to know someone, you don’t want to try to peer into their souls right away. It’s best to look at something together.
That gaze, that first sight, represents a posture toward the world. A person who is looking for beauty is likely to find wonders, while a person looking for threats will find danger. A person who beams warmth brings out the glowing sides of the people she meets, while a person who conveys formality can meet the same people and find them stiff and d
... See moreIf I want to see you, I want to see, at least a little bit, how you see the world. I want to see how you construct your reality, how you make meaning. I want to step, at least a bit, out of my point of view and into your point of view.
There are some people who, when they speak, no matter what the topic, seem to draw you into their own worldview, almost like an act of magic, like you are stepping into a movie, TV show, computer game, or graphic novel of their making. This can be a sign of their energy and creativity.
People have trouble picturing and getting excited about the unfamiliar, but they love to talk about what they know. To get a conversation rolling, find the thing the other person is most attached to. If they’re wearing a T-shirt from their kid’s sports team, ask about that. If they’ve got a nice motorcycle, lead with a question about it.
Above almost any other need, human beings long to have another person look into their face with loving respect and acceptance.