“And what else?” breaks that cycle. When asking it becomes a habit, it’s often the simplest way to stay lazy and stay curious. It’s a self-management tool to keep your Advice Monster under restraints.

Start by asking powerful questions. Thoughtful questions trigger a mental reflex known as “instinctive elaboration.” This reflex laser-focuses the brain on finding the answer. If your questions are open-ended, even better. For example, saying, “Help me understand” signals that the questioner is keen to learn. And asking, “What surprised you?” build

Short who/ what/when/where/why/how questions typically work best. Watch what they do, and compare their actions with what they say.

ask questions of your conversation partner that begin with “How…?” and “What…?” That is, questions that invite open-ended, constructive answers, rather than “Why…?” questions that demand justifications or “Do you…?” questions with yes/no answers.

Here are some examples of powerful questions to ask someone, that you can modify per your needs:

• What do you really want?

• What about this is important to you?

• What does that look like?

• How do you feel about this?

• What’s next?

• What else is possible?

• What’s right about this?

• What are your concerns?

• What is standing in your way?

• Tell me more